Hey! That's my job!

Yesterday, while in the car, a song was playing that has the word "ass" in it. Tripp knows the song and always waits patiently for them to sing "ass", so he can chuckle to himself. But yesterday, hearing "ass" while Megan was in the car sparked a memory and he said, "Hey, Megan. Remember when you got in that fight with the boy at school?"

Immediately, I looked at Megan, who tried to defend herself by explaining the situation to me. Evidently, a bigger boy threatened to kick Tripp in the balls. She said that she told him to leave Tripp alone. I suspect that the words "...or I will kick your ass" may have been spoken. I didn't clarify, though, because I was so shocked that Megan had stood up for Tripp. She spends most of her time tormenting him in a million different ways. I was wondered for a minute about what sort of inner monologue she experienced and decided that it was probably something along the lines of "if anyone's gonna kick him in the balls, it's going to be me!"

War

The past few nights, Tripp has cried at bedtime, very much afraid that someone was going to kill him. I had a bit of trouble getting an explanation out of him. Case in point, the first night, he told me that "The Indians are going to kill him." I asked "What Indians?" His response; "The ones in Kenya."

Then tonight, he finally asked a question that gave me the key to the whole problem. He asked "What happens if we lose the war? Will we all die?" It seems that the news has done its job in scaring the population. My response to him was first to explain that the war is being fought in another country, far from here. Then I explained that if we lose the war, then our soldiers just come home (I didn't mention dead soldiers) and that the people living in the place where they're fighting the war will either continue to fight amongst themselves, or will start to rebuild.

Children afraid to go to bed at night, due to a "real" bogeyman. People afraid to fly, due to the same "real" bogeyman. Are we that lacking in basic safety? Should we be afraid to leave our blinds open and lights on at night? Is attack imminent? I think not. But I'm sure that several of you are going to bash my naivete and explain to me just how horrible the world has become. Yeah, just recently, wars started. They never existed before. Cultures have never tried to wipe out other cultures, just because they were deemed offensive. Countries have never wiped out "lesser" civilizations in order to obtain easier shipping routes. And countries have never attacked other countries for any other type of financial gain.

These things have always existed. The powers that be seek to control other countries through brute force and the inhabitants of their own country through fear. Through little boys crying in their beds. How many generations do we have to go through before we get this right? How many mothers have to soothe their children about pointless fears before the mothers figure out a way to eliminate them? Will this be the way of things through the end of the human race?

I dunno. But at least the boy stopped crying and went to sleep, no longer concerned that a violent Kenyan Indian was going to jump through the window and kill him.

My Weekend

After work on Friday, we packed, waited for Grandpa Mike's flight to get in, then drove for 3 hours to get to the ocean. We got there around 10 and proceeded to set up our tent. In the dark. Then Vince blew up the air mattress without the help of a pump, since I'd forgotten to bring one. While blowing it up, he noticed a leak. He patched that, finished the mattress, we threw down the sleeping bags and crashed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to pouring rain and a completely flat air mattress. I laid there on the ground, trying to go back to sleep and not touch the sides of the tent, and thinking about how well the weekend was starting.

Saturday morning, we woke up to sun. It had rained all night, and the underside of the deflated air mattress was soaked, but neither of us got wet at all. We had breakfast and went to the beach. At the beach, we played soccer and flew kites. Well, Vince and the kids played soccer. I just flew kites. It was pretty damn fun. Then we went into town to go to the grocery store. I had a tantrum, we got food, and went to a cookout. While we were eating, I decided to have a beer in spite of the fact that I've been having those damn headaches, which can be triggered by alcohol. So I got a headache. It started mild, to lull me into a false sense of security, then brought the pain during the middle of the night.

By Sunday morning, the headache had subsided. Right in time to pack up to drive home. In the RV. Which has beds in it! So I got a nice long nap to make up for a couple of nights of crappy sleep. That worked out well, since when we got home, there were already people here to help us get the downstairs back together. We have the rec room mostly back together and started on the cabinets in the kitchen. Almost all of the stuff has been brought back in from the patio. But not all. Two weeks until the wedding, and we're not finished.

Flying kites is fun.

Vanity Tags

Earlier today, I was behind a car with a vanity tag reading "HRLYGRL". I interpreted that as "Hourly Girl." Which led me to wonder if she was really proud of being a temp, or really proud of being a prostitute. But then I realized that the license probably meant "Harley Girl." I guess the question is answered.

New Family

Vince's mom took Megan shopping today to buy a gift for my wedding shower. When they left, they took a bag of clothes I had sitting by the front door...to take to Goodwill. I'm suddenly very frightened of the gifts I might receive tomorrow. Gifts from the future mother-in-law and the Mormons. All at the little party in my backyard. Less than 20 feet from the big ass stack of stuff that came out of the basement so that we could do the floors. It's gonna rock!

And it continues...

You know the bathroom project? The one that's been in progress for too damn long? Today, Vince suggested that we move the washer and dryer. I asked if he'd finished the wiring. The breaker box is in Megan's room and her furniture has been displaced for weeks while the wires were hanging there, waiting for someone to connect them. Vince then told me that he would just roll those wires up for now and wait until we needed them to connect them. I asked how the dryer would work if the wires weren't connected to a breaker. He said that the dryer can be plugged up to the 220 outlet that's already in the room. I said ....."So, why did we want to run that wiring?" He responded with "Exactly." Evidently his mother told him to run the wiring and that we couldn't finish the bathroom until the wiring was done. The reason? Who the fuck knows? But, hey, at least we're that much closer to being finished. Of course, we would have been finished months ago if we hadn't wasted so much time procrastinating about running the wiring and then running the wiring.

Randomness

While I was outside, watering the flowerbeds in the front yard, a group of teenagers walked by the yard. One girl asked "Can I smell your hose?" Before I could respond, most likely with "Are you serious?...

Second girl: "You are such a freak."
First girl: "What? I like the way they smell."
Second girl: "Do you even know that lady?"
First girl: "Not really, but who would mind if a person smells their hose?"
Second girl: "You can't just ask people stuff like that. You're a freak."

They continued to talk all the way to their house, but I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. I'm sure it was entertaining.

That's My Girl

Friday afternoon, Tripp and I went to Megan's soccer game. When the game was over, Megan and I started walking toward the car, but Tripp wanted to continue playing. Megan seemed to think that this was the perfect occasion to leave him...and insult me at the same time.

Megan: He's not looking, you should start running.

Me: I don't need to run.

Megan: (Silently glances at my belly.)

Me: What? Are you suggesting that I should run more often?

Megan: No. I was just noticing how much smaller it is than it used to be. * laughs maniacally *

Me: Nice, Megan. Real nice.

Landscaping

Today, I decided to do a little yardwork. There was this old, half-barrel planter on the patio that I'd initially wanted to fill with colorful flowers. But, once I looked at it a little more closely, I realized that it was falling apart, so I decided to empty the dirt into the flowerbed and thrown the planter away. Little did I realize that the dirt was the only thing holding the planter together.


Anybody need a little rotten wood? Or a couple of rusty rings?

Conversations

Today Tripp got a new toy. He was looking at the packaging, where it said "ages 3 and up". He looked at me and the following conversation took place.

Tripp: Hey, Mom. You can play with this.

Me: Yeah. I'm definitely over 3.

Tripp: You're over 30, too. But not over 40.

Me: You're right.

I turned away from him to ask Megan something, then I heard....

Tripp: But you're working on it.

Me: What did you say???

Random guy next to us: "HAHAHAHAHA"

How They Screw You

On Sunday, I washed my cell phone with the laundry. On Monday (April 9,) I went to the Sprint store to get a new phone. After I picked the phone that I wanted, the guy started the long, drawn-out process of selling it to me.

Sprint guy: "Do you realize that if you wait until May 1, you get another $75 off?"

Me: "Yes, but I washed my phone yesterday, so I need a new phone today."

Sprint guy: "That's $75 just for waiting a few more weeks."

Me: "A few weeks is a long time to have no phone."

Sprint guy: "I just want you to be aware that you're missing out on that $75."

Me: "Consider me informed."

Then the Sprint guy clicks around on his computer for a few minutes, calls his supervisor over, asks why the phone is ringing up at the wrong price. She points out to him that there's an extra $75 being deducted, because my upgrade period is only a few weeks away. At this point, I should not have said "Well, well. Looks like I was misinformed about the discounts available."

Business Time

Dead Cat

Last night, Vince and I were sitting on the deck, discussing what to do about the dead cat in the blackberry bushes. I told him that the cat had fallen further into the bushes during the day. I said that we'd probably have to cut all the vines on our side of the fence in order to get over the fence...then we'd have to cut some of the vines on the other side of the fence in order to remove the cat. Then Vince had an epiphany. He suggested that we throw one of the live cats over the fence, onto the dead cat. He thinks that the live cat would knock the dead cat free. I think that Vince is going to need to be banned from independent thought soon.

Yard Work

Today I mowed. While I was mowing the far side of the back yard, I found a dead cat. I didn't know what to do with a dead cat, so I asked Vince's mom. She said to get a shovel and toss it over the fence. So I did. I tossed the dead cat across the fence. But I didn't clear the blackberry bushes. Now we have a dead cat hanging in the bushes behind the house.

Worms

We've been doing a lot of yardwork lately. That means digging in the dirt. There are a LOT of worms in our yard. On Sunday, Megan was helping me remove the rocks from the grass we'd pulled and she started asking questions about worms.

Megan: Which end is the head?

Me: I don't know.

Megan: How do you tell if it's a boy or girl?

Me: I don't think there are boy and girl worms. I'm pretty sure that worms are asexual. That means they can all produce offspring, not just the girl ones.

Megan: So, are we b-sexual? ...why are you laughing???

Wowza

Tonight, we watched The Devil Wears Prada. Decent movie...but the best thing about it was one of the male actors. Now 2 of my work buddies will see why I don't get excited about the same guys that they do. This is my idea of a hunk.

Overheard in the Fourth Grade

Megan's classmate: What are those chicken pox things all over your face?
Megan: You mean, freckles?
Megan's classmate: Yeah. What did you name them?
Megan: ...
Megan's classmate: You didn't name them?
Megan: No. Why would I do that?
Megan's classmate: So you can say hello to them.
Megan: ...

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that the RV is out of the back yard. Today we pulled it forward, through the gate and into the driveway. While going through the gate, we managed to knock the door off of the RV. The wooden gate, however, suffered only superficial damage. It's a good thing that we finally got around to moving it. Hopefully the lush yellow grass on the area will turn into lush green grass soon. Or at least lush green dandelions, to match the rest of the yard.

The bad news? Now the RV is in front of the house...where everyone can see it.

Growing Pains

Yesterday was pajama day at the kids' school. Tripp loves footie pajamas, so he choose to wear those. Much to his surprise (but no one else's,) the other kids in his class do not share his love of pajamas with feet. The first thing he said when he got into the car was "Mama! The other kids laughed at me today!" Evidently, one friend even went so far as to try to get Tripp in enough trouble to be sent to the principal's office...so that more kids could see Tripp's poor choice of night clothes. I told him that he shouldn't let other people dictate how he dresses. He rolled his eyes at me.

Megan also had an unpleasant experience at school yesterday, but hers was second hand. Evidently one of her friends has started menstruating. At age 10. I guess that's not particularly shocking. One of my friends had her first period when we were in 4th grade. Megan said that the girl cried, because the blood scared her. I managed to not respond with "If you really want to see crying, just wait until one of your friends misses a period."

Yard Work

This weekend, we did yard work. I worked both Saturday and Sunday. Well, on Saturday, by "work", I mean that I stood around and pointed at limbs that I wanted Vince to cut off a tree. But on Sunday...OMG...on Sunday, I worked. I pulled up a small tree, I hoed the hell out of a patch of ground roughly 8 feet square, and I used that little claw looking thingy to try to regain control of the gravel path along the north edge of the back yard. I worked until my hands wouldn't grip anymore. I worked until I actually understood the term "bone weary." I worked until I couldn't anymore, then I went inside for a glass of water. I had to use both hands to drink it. My hands were shaking. And do you know how the yard looks now? About the same as it did before I started. Only now there yard waste bin, the wheelbarrow and two 5 gallon buckets are full of grass, plants and bits of tree. Anyone know how much it would cost to hire a gardener to do this crap?

Wedding Planning...part 2 of 5,000,000

Holy shit, people. Did you know that planning a wedding involves making decisions? I'm not a fan of decision making. I'm also not a fan of spending money on temporary decorations. I am, however, a fan of drinking. Which is why the entire wedding and reception planning so far consists of "open bar!" It's possible that I might stop right there. So, if you're coming, you might want to consider bringing a chair. And some food. I've got you covered on the liquor, though.

Freedom

Vince's brother was kind enough to offer to take the kids for a few days while they're out of school for mid-winter break. It's odd to be home alone. I like it. Do you know what I just did? I went to 7/11 for some smokes and a juice. You know, because I'm trying to be all healthy and shit how. Anyway, I just WENT. No arguing with anyone. No searching for shoes. No fighting over who gets to lock the front door and unlock the car. No begging to listen to rap music on the drive there. No fighting over who gets to talk to me. Just silence. And a quick trip to the store. I'd forgotten that you can go anywhere in under 30 minutes.

WWYD

Say you order some high priced skin care products and makeup online. You receive the products, but aren't happy with a couple of them, so you send them back. Then you come home a few days later to another package sitting on the front steps. It's the entire shipment again. Do you keep it, or do you send it all back? Or, do you just send back the same two items you didn't like before and hope for a second refund?

Wedding Planning

We've been stepping up the wedding planning activities. For us, this means we've actually mentioned it to each other. Deciding to have a teeny little ceremony, including only a bride, groom, maid of honor, best man and some guy to take the video/photos has made a lot of the work disappear...but there is still work to be done. I decided that one of the first things to do was to finalize WHERE we're going to have the ceremony. A few months back, I called Thornewood Castle. The woman I talked to was pretty helpful. I described what I had in mind, and she told me that for what we wanted to do, we could reserve some area of the grounds or castle for an hour for a price of $500. That seemed decent enough to me, especially for such a beautiful place in need of no decorating on my part, but at that time, I had no idea of when the wedding might take place.

Today I called again, in hopes of making an appointment to see the place and then reserve our time. But no. The cum drunk whore that I talked to today says that they do NOT reserve anything at the castle for that length of time. She says that if I want to film a wedding there, I have to pay for the full 6 hours, as well as all the chairs and tables for the 100 guest wedding party...you know, the ones who won't be in attendance. And the full 6 hours? $4,500 on a Saturday. Only $3,500 on Sunday, though. Who the hell decided that weddings should be expensive? The court house route is looking more and more attractive with every day that passes.

Rustic

This weekend, we went to a rustic cabin up in the mountains. Beautiful scenery, lots of pretty snow, a river/creek running behind the cabin. Very nice. Except for the whole bit about "no running water" and "generator provided electricity." And did I mention the Honey Bucket in the yard? The ever-so-close-to-overflowing Honey Bucket? Oh, and the snow? Which means that it was really cold out in the Honey Bucket?

Actually, it was an enjoyable trip. Lots of laziness and even more drunkeness. And a few minor injuries. None of which happened to me, so even those were enjoyable. To me.

Also, there was a potato gun. Maybe not so much of a gun as a cannon. This thing was HUGE and could shoot a potato pretty freaking far. When I first heard them talking about shooting the potato gun later, I had an image in my mind of one of those tiny little guns that you see in the toy department at Fred Meyer. I thought it was odd that the guys were getting so excited about a crap toy like that...but then I remembered how long the fart machine kept these guys entertained, so it sorta made sense. The potato gun was not tiny. It was mad out of PVC pipe and used Aqua Net as the ignition source. I really wish I'd taken a camera. I'd like to have gotten a picture of the potato gun...as well as the liquor storage area. Which was a drift of snow/ice roughly 3 feet high that covered most of the deck area.

hehehe

Snow Day

I have another day off today. I can't remember ever being at home like this due to snow since I was a kid. But I'm a wuss, so I'm staying in today. I'm not a big fan of driving on ice, even when you have access to a four wheel drive. Which is bigger than any car you've ever driven. And also heavier. And in need of longer stopping distances even on dry pavement. That's my excuse for the day. I am an incompetent driver, so I won't go to work when it's snowing. Plus, I can surf just as easily from home, without having to brave the freeway.

We're going to have a fun day, though. Until it starts to rain and everything melts. After that, I'm thinking it's time to put the snowboards away for the year. But I took some pictures. They're on Flickr.

Comfy Chairs

We have new living room furniture. It's the most comfortable stuff I've ever had, I think. The chairs are "chair and a half" sized. That means they're wide enough that you can sit in them with your legs curled to the side without being cramped. They're also recliners...so you can...well, recline. I believe that this is my new favorite room.

Aggressive Behavior

The boy has been in trouble again at school. This time for fighting. Or at least that's what I thought he'd gotten in trouble for the night that I punished him. I guess I should wait until after talking to the teacher before assuming that what he's telling me is an accurate description of what happened. It turns out that he was in trouble for wrestling. He and another boy decided, during recess, that they wanted to wrestle. Neither boy was angry. They just wanted to wrestle. While they were rolling around, they bumped into a table and turned over the paints. THIS is why he got in trouble, according to the teacher. Which is quite a bit different from fighting. Yes, it's still bad behavior...but it's a different level of bad. Sort of like how speeding and murder are both illegal.

Anyway, he brought the incident report to me to sign, and his infraction was listed as aggressive behavior. To me, wrestling doesn't seem like aggressive behavior. Webster defines aggression as follows:

Main Entry: ag·gres·sion
Pronunciation: &-'gre-sh&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin aggression-, aggressio attack, from aggredi to attack, from ad- + gradi to step, go -- more at GRADE
1 : a forceful action or procedure (as an unprovoked attack) especially when intended to dominate or master
2 : the practice of making attacks or encroachments; especially : unprovoked violation by one country of the territorial integrity of another
3 : hostile, injurious, or destructive behavior or outlook especially when caused by frustration

Let's recap what these boys did. They were at recess. Tripp walked up to the other boy and said "Want to wrestle?" He said "Yes." Tripp put up his hands and said "Bring it on." To me, this does not sound like an unprovoked attack. It does sound like destructive behavior, though, since they knocked over the paints. So I talked to the kids about it. They described to me some other behavior that is deemed aggressive at school. Playing tag is one of them. Evidently, tag is aggressive because when you're "it", you have to chase someone down and touch them. Touching is aggressive.

Seriously, we need to get a grip on what we're teaching our kids. How can they possibly learn the lines between acceptable and unacceptable if the line is drawn waaaaay back there? At some point, will bathrooms be taken out of schools because you have to be partially naked in order to use them? And, not only partially naked, but partially naked in a room with other people who are also partially naked. That's practically a sex club. We can't have that in our grade schools!

I understand why the school doesn't want kids wrestling on the playground. They are responsible for hundreds of kids every day. They have to make rules in order to prevent chaos. But I don't understand why the rules can't be explained in a more realistic manner. Such as "No wrestling, because one of you will eventually crack your skull," instead of "No wrestling, because that's just the first step toward sitting in the clock tower with a rifle." Also, the boy's violation should have been listed as "Won't follow the rules," rather than "Aggressive behavior." At some point, he's going to get in an actual fight with someone and his punishment will be worse than a first time offender, because he's had a prior. It might even be his third offense if he gets caught playing tag at school.

New Blog

There. Now stop bitching.