Aggressive Behavior

The boy has been in trouble again at school. This time for fighting. Or at least that's what I thought he'd gotten in trouble for the night that I punished him. I guess I should wait until after talking to the teacher before assuming that what he's telling me is an accurate description of what happened. It turns out that he was in trouble for wrestling. He and another boy decided, during recess, that they wanted to wrestle. Neither boy was angry. They just wanted to wrestle. While they were rolling around, they bumped into a table and turned over the paints. THIS is why he got in trouble, according to the teacher. Which is quite a bit different from fighting. Yes, it's still bad behavior...but it's a different level of bad. Sort of like how speeding and murder are both illegal.

Anyway, he brought the incident report to me to sign, and his infraction was listed as aggressive behavior. To me, wrestling doesn't seem like aggressive behavior. Webster defines aggression as follows:

Main Entry: ag·gres·sion
Pronunciation: &-'gre-sh&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin aggression-, aggressio attack, from aggredi to attack, from ad- + gradi to step, go -- more at GRADE
1 : a forceful action or procedure (as an unprovoked attack) especially when intended to dominate or master
2 : the practice of making attacks or encroachments; especially : unprovoked violation by one country of the territorial integrity of another
3 : hostile, injurious, or destructive behavior or outlook especially when caused by frustration

Let's recap what these boys did. They were at recess. Tripp walked up to the other boy and said "Want to wrestle?" He said "Yes." Tripp put up his hands and said "Bring it on." To me, this does not sound like an unprovoked attack. It does sound like destructive behavior, though, since they knocked over the paints. So I talked to the kids about it. They described to me some other behavior that is deemed aggressive at school. Playing tag is one of them. Evidently, tag is aggressive because when you're "it", you have to chase someone down and touch them. Touching is aggressive.

Seriously, we need to get a grip on what we're teaching our kids. How can they possibly learn the lines between acceptable and unacceptable if the line is drawn waaaaay back there? At some point, will bathrooms be taken out of schools because you have to be partially naked in order to use them? And, not only partially naked, but partially naked in a room with other people who are also partially naked. That's practically a sex club. We can't have that in our grade schools!

I understand why the school doesn't want kids wrestling on the playground. They are responsible for hundreds of kids every day. They have to make rules in order to prevent chaos. But I don't understand why the rules can't be explained in a more realistic manner. Such as "No wrestling, because one of you will eventually crack your skull," instead of "No wrestling, because that's just the first step toward sitting in the clock tower with a rifle." Also, the boy's violation should have been listed as "Won't follow the rules," rather than "Aggressive behavior." At some point, he's going to get in an actual fight with someone and his punishment will be worse than a first time offender, because he's had a prior. It might even be his third offense if he gets caught playing tag at school.