Dead Cat

Last night, Vince and I were sitting on the deck, discussing what to do about the dead cat in the blackberry bushes. I told him that the cat had fallen further into the bushes during the day. I said that we'd probably have to cut all the vines on our side of the fence in order to get over the fence...then we'd have to cut some of the vines on the other side of the fence in order to remove the cat. Then Vince had an epiphany. He suggested that we throw one of the live cats over the fence, onto the dead cat. He thinks that the live cat would knock the dead cat free. I think that Vince is going to need to be banned from independent thought soon.

Yard Work

Today I mowed. While I was mowing the far side of the back yard, I found a dead cat. I didn't know what to do with a dead cat, so I asked Vince's mom. She said to get a shovel and toss it over the fence. So I did. I tossed the dead cat across the fence. But I didn't clear the blackberry bushes. Now we have a dead cat hanging in the bushes behind the house.

Worms

We've been doing a lot of yardwork lately. That means digging in the dirt. There are a LOT of worms in our yard. On Sunday, Megan was helping me remove the rocks from the grass we'd pulled and she started asking questions about worms.

Megan: Which end is the head?

Me: I don't know.

Megan: How do you tell if it's a boy or girl?

Me: I don't think there are boy and girl worms. I'm pretty sure that worms are asexual. That means they can all produce offspring, not just the girl ones.

Megan: So, are we b-sexual? ...why are you laughing???

Wowza

Tonight, we watched The Devil Wears Prada. Decent movie...but the best thing about it was one of the male actors. Now 2 of my work buddies will see why I don't get excited about the same guys that they do. This is my idea of a hunk.

Overheard in the Fourth Grade

Megan's classmate: What are those chicken pox things all over your face?
Megan: You mean, freckles?
Megan's classmate: Yeah. What did you name them?
Megan: ...
Megan's classmate: You didn't name them?
Megan: No. Why would I do that?
Megan's classmate: So you can say hello to them.
Megan: ...

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that the RV is out of the back yard. Today we pulled it forward, through the gate and into the driveway. While going through the gate, we managed to knock the door off of the RV. The wooden gate, however, suffered only superficial damage. It's a good thing that we finally got around to moving it. Hopefully the lush yellow grass on the area will turn into lush green grass soon. Or at least lush green dandelions, to match the rest of the yard.

The bad news? Now the RV is in front of the house...where everyone can see it.

Growing Pains

Yesterday was pajama day at the kids' school. Tripp loves footie pajamas, so he choose to wear those. Much to his surprise (but no one else's,) the other kids in his class do not share his love of pajamas with feet. The first thing he said when he got into the car was "Mama! The other kids laughed at me today!" Evidently, one friend even went so far as to try to get Tripp in enough trouble to be sent to the principal's office...so that more kids could see Tripp's poor choice of night clothes. I told him that he shouldn't let other people dictate how he dresses. He rolled his eyes at me.

Megan also had an unpleasant experience at school yesterday, but hers was second hand. Evidently one of her friends has started menstruating. At age 10. I guess that's not particularly shocking. One of my friends had her first period when we were in 4th grade. Megan said that the girl cried, because the blood scared her. I managed to not respond with "If you really want to see crying, just wait until one of your friends misses a period."

Yard Work

This weekend, we did yard work. I worked both Saturday and Sunday. Well, on Saturday, by "work", I mean that I stood around and pointed at limbs that I wanted Vince to cut off a tree. But on Sunday...OMG...on Sunday, I worked. I pulled up a small tree, I hoed the hell out of a patch of ground roughly 8 feet square, and I used that little claw looking thingy to try to regain control of the gravel path along the north edge of the back yard. I worked until my hands wouldn't grip anymore. I worked until I actually understood the term "bone weary." I worked until I couldn't anymore, then I went inside for a glass of water. I had to use both hands to drink it. My hands were shaking. And do you know how the yard looks now? About the same as it did before I started. Only now there yard waste bin, the wheelbarrow and two 5 gallon buckets are full of grass, plants and bits of tree. Anyone know how much it would cost to hire a gardener to do this crap?

Wedding Planning...part 2 of 5,000,000

Holy shit, people. Did you know that planning a wedding involves making decisions? I'm not a fan of decision making. I'm also not a fan of spending money on temporary decorations. I am, however, a fan of drinking. Which is why the entire wedding and reception planning so far consists of "open bar!" It's possible that I might stop right there. So, if you're coming, you might want to consider bringing a chair. And some food. I've got you covered on the liquor, though.