Mommy burned me on purpose!

Tripp: Can I have some of the garlic bread?

Me: No. It just came out of the oven and it's still very hot.

Tripp: But I want some.

Me: It's hot.

Tripp: Just a little.

Me: Too hot.

Tripp: I never get anything I want. All I want is bread, and you won't let me have it.

Me: Fine. Get some. But it's going to burn you because it's still hot.

Tripp: OOOWWWWWW! It hurts! You burned me on purpose, Mommy.

Football

Football season is upon us. We've been watching a lot of football at our house. We've also been throwing the ball around in the yard quite a bit. Sometimes we even kick the ball. Sometimes, the ball goes toward the back of the yard. Where the big trees stand. And sometimes, people have to climb those trees to retrieve the football...



Just in case you didn't spot him, here's a closer look.

Celebrations

Last night, Vince was filling in the calendar with his opera stuff for the next several months. He stopped suddenly and the following conversation took place.

Vince: Honey....I'm very sorry, but I have to work on the Vernal Equinox.

Me: Oh no! But that's a major holiday for me. You're not going to be upset if we do the naked goat dance without you are you?

Vince: I would be upset with that whether I were here or not.

Me: Oh. Fine, then. No naked goat dance.

Vince: Looks like I'll also be working on Easter Monday.

Me: You know, we generally do the naked goat dance then, too.

Lost

Yesterday, I lost the boy for a bit. When I saw him go out the front door, I assumed that he was going to ride his bike or scooter. A few minutes later, I walked past the windows and realized that I couldn't see him. So I went out front and called for him. No answer. I went back inside and asked Megan if she'd seen him. She hadn't. I went to his room and looked under his bed. No Tripp. I went downstairs and looked for him. Still nothing. I walked out to his tree house. Nada. I looked in his sister's clubhouse. But no. I even went into the garage. The garage, people! Still nothing. Then I went to the front of the house again. This time I saw him. Coming away from the front door of the house across the street. Which is bad. He's not allowed to go into any of the houses on our street, because I don't know the people and there are no kids his age in any of them. I asked him what he'd been doing. "Selling stuff." I asked what he was selling. "This"...while holding up a plastic Smurf that's definitely seen better days. It's grubby and nasty. But he was going door-to-door, trying to sell it. I had a brief hope that he'd only gone to the one house, directly across the street...but no. He went to ALL the houses. Selling a grimy Smurf. I'm sure the neighbors love us.

Improve the Workplace

In a meeting a couple of weeks ago, our boss told us that we need to come to work a little more regularly. It seems that the higher level management has been wandering around the building, just to see who is at work. They do this around 5 on Fridays, I believe. Anyway, our boss suggested that we actually BE at work for the hours we claim on our timecard. The following day, there was another meeting, during which the higher level management covered timecards again, implying that we might have to start punching a clock, rather than being trusted to keep track of our working hours on our own.

Today, our boss sent out an email asking for suggestions on how to improve staff retention and employee morale. I think that my suggestion might be "How about you back off that whole attendance thing a little?"

How Things Work

Yesterday, the kids and I were watching a movie. The movie had two main characters, both male. One is thin...the other is not. In the final scene of the movie, two girls showed up to ask the guys on dates. Tripp noted that the fat guy would get the ugly girl. I asked which one he thought was ugly, and he pointed her out. Megan asked, "The one who looks like Mama?" I looked at her in askance. She immediately launched into an explanation that would make it seem less like she just described her mother as "the ugly one." This explanation involved saying "Well, not how you look NOW...maybe how you used to look. When you were young."